How We Share the Love

A friend wrote this blog post 

She is the mother of that adorable baby! I love her blog because she just tells it how it is! Her latest post was How can you love your kids equally? 

"I love chocolate all the same amount but I love Rolo's more since they have Carmel, (yes, I did just compare kids to chocolate)"

I thought this was a great question. I too had the same questions and worries a few years ago when I got pregnant with my second child. In fact, I had a whole list of worries...
  • What if I didn't love the 2nd child as much as I loved currently loved my 1st child
  • What if I loved the 2nd child more and the 1st child was neglected
  • How can I love them at the same time
  • Maybe neither of them will have my full love because my love will be split in half 
But all those fears were put aside when I had my baby. I had that instant connection with my second child.  For those who haven't had a child, this is how it feels for me. One second I'm just a pregnant lady and then the next second the baby is born, and I'm it's mother. I have never met this child before, I don't even know their name, or their personality but I have this extreme desire, to protect, provide, and LOVE this child. It is the fastest instant connection one will ever feel. It has happened like that with all my children and I have never needed to worry about if I loved them.

So I guess I could say just have faith that it will happen like that, but I'm sure those of you out there who haven't experienced it would like some examples. 

I'm sure everyone has relationships out there where you love two or more people in different ways but couldn't choose between them. Besides my children, I have my siblings, and my parents.

PARENTS- I love both my parents the same amount, but not in the same way.

If I want help making a sandwich, I want my mom
If I want help changing the oil in my car, I want my dad

If I am sad and need comfort, I want my mom
If I am stressed and need advice, I want my dad

If I want someone coaching me through an activity, I want my dad
If I want someone to encourage me through an activity, I want my mom.

So in different situations I would favor one parent over the other, but if I was asked to give up one of my parents I couldn't choose because I truly need both of them in my life, and there would be a void if one of them was missing.

SYBLINGS- I have two brothers and one sister. I am the oldest, but for the sake of keeping my brothers apart I will call one big brother and the other little brother, and they can guess which one they are ;)

If I was going to go see a movie I would want to take my big brother
If I was going to go shopping I would want to take my sister
If I was going to play a game I would ask my little brother first

If I needed unconditional love I would go to my big brother
If I needed help understanding someone else's point of view I would go to my sister
If I needed someone to have a good laugh with I would go to my little brother

my big brother provides stability
my sister provides balance
my little brother provides peace

They each bring something different into my life and in specific situations I could choose a favorite, but overall as my siblings I couldn't chose just one. I love all of them.

I love pickles and carmel equally but not in the same way
I like pickles on my hamburger and
I like carmel on my ice-cream,
I wouldn't want to eat only hamburger or only ice cream. 
They both have their place in my life
One is for when I'm hungry for a meal, 
One is for when I'm craving some sweets
SEE, Equal but different. YUM YUM

I've learned Love doesn't split, Love grows. 

Once I knew that I would love all my kids the same, I was worried if my kids would know my love for them and not feel less loved. I've worked extra hard in showing my children how to love each other and share that love, in hopes that they can see I love them as equal as they love each other.